A very common scene from the last 4 years or so: An older woman walks up to me with my baby in the sling and 1-2 toddlers running around me and my pregnant belly and reassures me, “It gets easier.” Really? Was it that obvious?
Yes, I realize that my days with toddlers were not the average. Most people who are in the middle of having babies don’t up and leave for a new country, language, climate, culture, hemisphere . . . They’re all a lot smarter than me. Still, there is something inherent in a Mama’s time with her babies where women who have been through it feel compelled to reassure women who are going through it. It’s a crazy time. I didn’t sleep through the night for 5 straight years. I fed someone from my body inside me and/or outside me for 5 straight years. I changed diapers on 1-2 kids for 5 straight years. That can take a lot out of a girl!!! Since I’ve recently come out of the fog, I have started feeling the need to make my way across a crowded room to a Mom wiping away snot from one child while nursing another and say, “It gets easier!” When a friend posts on Facebook about another sleepless night or a kid who has the stomach flu, I want to send her a message, “It gets easier!”
In fact, sometimes, I do those things. Even though it took me off guard and made me self conscious when someone noticed my chaos, it also was an encouragement. Here was someone who had gone through it. In fact, survived it! It really did give me hope to hear that on my hardest Mom days. One very wise woman told me that when her kids were so little, she realized that every time she heard one of them say, “Mama,” she needed to say, “Praise the Lord!” I’m sure she did a lot of praising when her kids were young. And it was a good reminder on a sleepy night that there was something to be sleepy about. Having gone through 2 miscarriages, I can remember being so fed up with Moms who complained all the time about how hard it was. They were holding their babies and mine were in heaven. So, even on the hardest days, I have been thankful. But, for those Mamas who feel that they must have reached their limit, “It gets easier!” For those Mamas who weren’t wanting it in the first place, “It gets easier!” For the Mamas who are wondering what I’m talking about and babies are the easiest thing ever, “Your baby is a miracle!” Well, every baby is a miracle . . .
Anyway, I thought I’d take this post-Mother’s Day post to let you know some of the things that have gotten easier in the last year on this side of the world.
Diapers: NO MORE DIAPERS!!!! In this country there is no such thing as a changing table. It was so difficult to go out with my diapered kids because there was no place to change them. I would end up squatting with a squirming toddler on my lap in a squatty potty -- how fitting. These potties always have water/mud/??? on the floor. You can’t set anything down in there and there are no hooks. Forget about soap or toilet paper or paper towels. You’d better hope you remembered the baby wipes. Otherwise, you are stuck trying to hold said toddler over a hole in the ground and rinse her off with a bucket. That only happened a few times.
Car travel: My kids can sit in a seat by themselves now. I no longer have to hold at least one kid on my lap while we travel . . . unless the car is packed . . . which actually happens quite frequently . . . so maybe forget that last one.
Plane rides: All my kids can sit by themselves. No more 13 hour flights with 5 of us in 3 seats!!! Praise the Lord!!! Also, they can all enjoy movies on longer flights and don’t need to go to the bathroom every hour. Bringing me back to why I’m glad no one is in diapers anymore . . .
Eating: They can feed themselves. When visiting, I don’t have to hold someone on my lap and try to share food with them while eating with my fingers and trying to not get too much spice on the baby’s food. I have also rediscovered the pleasure of eating a warm -- if not hot -- meal.
Play time: My children can actually play by themselves, unaccompanied, for some amount of time. I can’t specify how much, because I still do have to break up arguments and mend booboos once in a while, but that’s about it!
School time: All of the kids are old enough to sit and listen to a story once in a while. Lu is still a little young and isn’t officially in school, so she comes and goes. But, she can come and go without constant supervision and that leaves me free with the older two to try to finish a math lesson.
Going for walks: They are all much more aware of their surroundings. I can say follow behind me and they will -- well, sometimes Abe wanders. I don’t have to carry anyone when we go down to get veggies from the market. If I wanted to get veggies with the kids before, I’d have to sling Lu on my hip and drag Abe and Jed. On the way back up, I’d have about 12 lbs of produce along with my girl, walking up the mountain, with 2 boys who were whining about how tired they were. Needless to say, it didn’t happen very often. Just a few days ago, I went with them and THEY carried about 6 lbs of the veggies and walked the whole way. Ahhhh!
Visiting: Visiting neighbors used to be a nightmare. Our kids wouldn’t have a clue what was going on. Lucy would want to nurse, so I’d have to try to figure out how to do that. Abe would want to sit on my lap one second and climb up the bars on their windows the next. Jed would just complain about why he had to be there until we left. It was pretty miserable. We just visited a friend a few days ago. We sat and chatted for about an hour. We had to tell the kids to sit up once or twice, but they were great and our neighbor even commented on how well behaved our children are. That had NEVER happened before! Abe even fell asleep in my lap.
So, it’s been a process. Not everything is easy, but it’s easier. I can see how we might survive here. I can even begin to imagine that we could start to thrive here. This is a BIG, BIG, BIG deal! I know it wasn’t my amazing Mothering that got us through it, but God’s grace and guidance. It got easier.
The early days. If you can't tell, this is 5 month pregnant me holding Abe asleep in the sling with Jed asleep against my arm. I think we were in the airport taxi on the way to our new home.
Yes, I realize that my days with toddlers were not the average. Most people who are in the middle of having babies don’t up and leave for a new country, language, climate, culture, hemisphere . . . They’re all a lot smarter than me. Still, there is something inherent in a Mama’s time with her babies where women who have been through it feel compelled to reassure women who are going through it. It’s a crazy time. I didn’t sleep through the night for 5 straight years. I fed someone from my body inside me and/or outside me for 5 straight years. I changed diapers on 1-2 kids for 5 straight years. That can take a lot out of a girl!!! Since I’ve recently come out of the fog, I have started feeling the need to make my way across a crowded room to a Mom wiping away snot from one child while nursing another and say, “It gets easier!” When a friend posts on Facebook about another sleepless night or a kid who has the stomach flu, I want to send her a message, “It gets easier!”
In fact, sometimes, I do those things. Even though it took me off guard and made me self conscious when someone noticed my chaos, it also was an encouragement. Here was someone who had gone through it. In fact, survived it! It really did give me hope to hear that on my hardest Mom days. One very wise woman told me that when her kids were so little, she realized that every time she heard one of them say, “Mama,” she needed to say, “Praise the Lord!” I’m sure she did a lot of praising when her kids were young. And it was a good reminder on a sleepy night that there was something to be sleepy about. Having gone through 2 miscarriages, I can remember being so fed up with Moms who complained all the time about how hard it was. They were holding their babies and mine were in heaven. So, even on the hardest days, I have been thankful. But, for those Mamas who feel that they must have reached their limit, “It gets easier!” For those Mamas who weren’t wanting it in the first place, “It gets easier!” For the Mamas who are wondering what I’m talking about and babies are the easiest thing ever, “Your baby is a miracle!” Well, every baby is a miracle . . .
Anyway, I thought I’d take this post-Mother’s Day post to let you know some of the things that have gotten easier in the last year on this side of the world.
Diapers: NO MORE DIAPERS!!!! In this country there is no such thing as a changing table. It was so difficult to go out with my diapered kids because there was no place to change them. I would end up squatting with a squirming toddler on my lap in a squatty potty -- how fitting. These potties always have water/mud/??? on the floor. You can’t set anything down in there and there are no hooks. Forget about soap or toilet paper or paper towels. You’d better hope you remembered the baby wipes. Otherwise, you are stuck trying to hold said toddler over a hole in the ground and rinse her off with a bucket. That only happened a few times.
Car travel: My kids can sit in a seat by themselves now. I no longer have to hold at least one kid on my lap while we travel . . . unless the car is packed . . . which actually happens quite frequently . . . so maybe forget that last one.
Plane rides: All my kids can sit by themselves. No more 13 hour flights with 5 of us in 3 seats!!! Praise the Lord!!! Also, they can all enjoy movies on longer flights and don’t need to go to the bathroom every hour. Bringing me back to why I’m glad no one is in diapers anymore . . .
Eating: They can feed themselves. When visiting, I don’t have to hold someone on my lap and try to share food with them while eating with my fingers and trying to not get too much spice on the baby’s food. I have also rediscovered the pleasure of eating a warm -- if not hot -- meal.
Play time: My children can actually play by themselves, unaccompanied, for some amount of time. I can’t specify how much, because I still do have to break up arguments and mend booboos once in a while, but that’s about it!
School time: All of the kids are old enough to sit and listen to a story once in a while. Lu is still a little young and isn’t officially in school, so she comes and goes. But, she can come and go without constant supervision and that leaves me free with the older two to try to finish a math lesson.
Going for walks: They are all much more aware of their surroundings. I can say follow behind me and they will -- well, sometimes Abe wanders. I don’t have to carry anyone when we go down to get veggies from the market. If I wanted to get veggies with the kids before, I’d have to sling Lu on my hip and drag Abe and Jed. On the way back up, I’d have about 12 lbs of produce along with my girl, walking up the mountain, with 2 boys who were whining about how tired they were. Needless to say, it didn’t happen very often. Just a few days ago, I went with them and THEY carried about 6 lbs of the veggies and walked the whole way. Ahhhh!
Visiting: Visiting neighbors used to be a nightmare. Our kids wouldn’t have a clue what was going on. Lucy would want to nurse, so I’d have to try to figure out how to do that. Abe would want to sit on my lap one second and climb up the bars on their windows the next. Jed would just complain about why he had to be there until we left. It was pretty miserable. We just visited a friend a few days ago. We sat and chatted for about an hour. We had to tell the kids to sit up once or twice, but they were great and our neighbor even commented on how well behaved our children are. That had NEVER happened before! Abe even fell asleep in my lap.
So, it’s been a process. Not everything is easy, but it’s easier. I can see how we might survive here. I can even begin to imagine that we could start to thrive here. This is a BIG, BIG, BIG deal! I know it wasn’t my amazing Mothering that got us through it, but God’s grace and guidance. It got easier.
The early days. If you can't tell, this is 5 month pregnant me holding Abe asleep in the sling with Jed asleep against my arm. I think we were in the airport taxi on the way to our new home.
Emily, I had Elise May 1st and there was this gentle nudge to read your blog. I'm so glad god knit our hearts together.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I needed to hear.
Oh, I just love this! !And I love you all! Can't wait to hug her.
Delete