And now here I am in my fourth year living in a new culture. In some ways it feels like forever ago and in others, like we just moved here. I still find myself learning new things and trying to make sense of what I’m experiencing. I still find myself wondering what I got myself into. I still find myself completely incompetent when it comes to the task of living here and raising a family here. Still, God is faithful! Recently, we’ve had some people visit for the first time. It helps me to remember just how much I have learned and grown during these years. So, I’d like to share some of the changes I’m noticing from year 1 to year 4. Enjoy:
On driving:
Year 1: Our family will never drive here. We’ve got to learn how to use public transportation.
Year 2: Chris can zoom our family of 5 around on the motorcycle, but you would never catch me driving on these streets!
Year 3: Maybe I can drive the car to my friend’s house a few blocks away.
Year 4: Where are we going?
On local dress:
Year 1: “Dupattas are shackles!!!”
Year 2: These suits really are comfortable. I can even use the squatty potty in one.
Year 3: While we’re visiting the states, Chris asks me why I am always grabbing a scarf to drape around my sweater.
Year 4: I feel pretty confident reaching for something in my closet and knowing what combo to wear -- baggy pants or jeans, long or short kurta, dupatta around the shoulders or over the head, etc.
On local food:
Year 1: I like spice, but come on!
Year 2: Maybe I can muscle down that piece of goat fat on my plate.
Year 3: While visiting the States, I realize I miss aloo paratha and tamater paneer.
Year 4: I can make aloo paratha and tamater paneer.
On food from where I grew up:
Year 1: I spend lots of time wishing I had a hamburger, bacon, cheese, loaves of wheat bread, milk in plastic jugs, Life cereal
Year 2: I cry when the last of my peanut M&Ms and peanut butter cups are gone -- also weaning Lu, so I could blame that on hormones, but it might not be true.
Year 3: I love visa runs so I can get hamburgers and bacon and loaves of wheat bread, but I don’t pack my entire suitcase with hometown foods.
Year 4: I didn’t cry when my peanut M&Ms were gone.
On learning language and getting to know people:
Year 1: (In the local language) “I am just starting to learn language. I can’t understand you.”
Year 2: “How many kids do you have? Where are you from?”
Year 3: “I am so grateful for you. You are my sister. My heart is full when you’re around”
Year 4: Maybe I could learn another language . . .
On inappropriate looks from men:
Year 1: Am I dressed wrong? Did I not cover myself properly? Why can’t I get this right?
Year 2: “You are bad! Stop Staring!” Year 3: “If my husband looked at your sister the way you are looking at me, you would be mad.” Yep, totally said that to an army officer at an airport.
Year 4: I can’t solve this attitude in this culture, but I can solve how I carry myself. I don’t have to feel ashamed.
On going places with the kids:
Year 1: Mama Bear attacks photo takers and returns home completely exhausted.
Year 2: Lets visit a friend and try not to climb on every piece of furniture . . . and you can have the extra cookie when Auntie offers it to you.
Year 3: Let’s spend a week on a mountain with a bunch of veterinarians, shepherds, and poo!
Year 4: Let’s spend the night at the village during a wedding!
Speaking of that . . . on going to weddings:
Year 1: How I wish we had a friend to invite us to a wedding!
Year 2: Well, that was an experience! (if you want to read about our first wedding here -- complete with Abe getting his head stuck in a railing on the roof -- look for it around March 2014.)
Year 3: Maybe I will go by myself overnight to that wedding (you can read about that one in April or May 2015)
Year 4: Let’s spend the night at the village during a wedding! (story still to come)
On normal:
Year 1: We’re going to settle in here and find out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 2: We’re going to settle in to the new city and find out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 3: We’re still trying to figure out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 4: Well, I guess this is normal.
On weather:
Year 1: I am going to melt in this heat!
Year 2: I am going to sweat and not sleep in this heat!
Year 3: I am going to freeze in this cold!
Year 4: I’ve got an extra sweater on.
On homeschool:
Year 1: “Hey, Jed, let’s sing a song and read a book together while I feed Lucy and Abe free-ranges.
Year 2: “Hey, Abe and Jed, let’s do this cool art project and a science experiment while Lucy is napping.”
Year 3: “Hey, Kids, it’s time for school!”
Year 4: They have desks and charts and stuff.
On grocery shopping:
Year 1: “Chris, can you pick me up some stuff?”
Year 2: I went with the kids to the store and market.
Year 3: “Chris, can you pick me up some stuff?”
Year 4: “Chris, can you watch the kids so I can get out of the house!?”
On laundry:
Year 1: There’s too much.
Year 2: There’s too much.
Year 3: There’s too much.
Year 4: There’s too much.
Okay, not everything can change . . .
I sure don’t have it all figured out yet, but it’s been a big adventure learning about stuff here. My heart goes out to the people who are just beginning this journey. I remember! And if I may quote every cross-cultural person who encouraged me during those first years, “It gets better!” And my honor goes out to all those who have done this a lot longer than I have. Way to hang in there and give all of us who are back in the beginning something to shoot for. Your experience and love goes a long way. And my love goes out to all my local friends who accepted me quirks and struggle and all. You are the reason I stay. May God have His way.
On driving:
Year 1: Our family will never drive here. We’ve got to learn how to use public transportation.
Year 2: Chris can zoom our family of 5 around on the motorcycle, but you would never catch me driving on these streets!
Year 3: Maybe I can drive the car to my friend’s house a few blocks away.
Year 4: Where are we going?
On local dress:
Year 1: “Dupattas are shackles!!!”
Year 2: These suits really are comfortable. I can even use the squatty potty in one.
Year 3: While we’re visiting the states, Chris asks me why I am always grabbing a scarf to drape around my sweater.
Year 4: I feel pretty confident reaching for something in my closet and knowing what combo to wear -- baggy pants or jeans, long or short kurta, dupatta around the shoulders or over the head, etc.
On local food:
Year 1: I like spice, but come on!
Year 2: Maybe I can muscle down that piece of goat fat on my plate.
Year 3: While visiting the States, I realize I miss aloo paratha and tamater paneer.
Year 4: I can make aloo paratha and tamater paneer.
On food from where I grew up:
Year 1: I spend lots of time wishing I had a hamburger, bacon, cheese, loaves of wheat bread, milk in plastic jugs, Life cereal
Year 2: I cry when the last of my peanut M&Ms and peanut butter cups are gone -- also weaning Lu, so I could blame that on hormones, but it might not be true.
Year 3: I love visa runs so I can get hamburgers and bacon and loaves of wheat bread, but I don’t pack my entire suitcase with hometown foods.
Year 4: I didn’t cry when my peanut M&Ms were gone.
On learning language and getting to know people:
Year 1: (In the local language) “I am just starting to learn language. I can’t understand you.”
Year 2: “How many kids do you have? Where are you from?”
Year 3: “I am so grateful for you. You are my sister. My heart is full when you’re around”
Year 4: Maybe I could learn another language . . .
On inappropriate looks from men:
Year 1: Am I dressed wrong? Did I not cover myself properly? Why can’t I get this right?
Year 2: “You are bad! Stop Staring!” Year 3: “If my husband looked at your sister the way you are looking at me, you would be mad.” Yep, totally said that to an army officer at an airport.
Year 4: I can’t solve this attitude in this culture, but I can solve how I carry myself. I don’t have to feel ashamed.
On going places with the kids:
Year 1: Mama Bear attacks photo takers and returns home completely exhausted.
Year 2: Lets visit a friend and try not to climb on every piece of furniture . . . and you can have the extra cookie when Auntie offers it to you.
Year 3: Let’s spend a week on a mountain with a bunch of veterinarians, shepherds, and poo!
Year 4: Let’s spend the night at the village during a wedding!
Speaking of that . . . on going to weddings:
Year 1: How I wish we had a friend to invite us to a wedding!
Year 2: Well, that was an experience! (if you want to read about our first wedding here -- complete with Abe getting his head stuck in a railing on the roof -- look for it around March 2014.)
Year 3: Maybe I will go by myself overnight to that wedding (you can read about that one in April or May 2015)
Year 4: Let’s spend the night at the village during a wedding! (story still to come)
On normal:
Year 1: We’re going to settle in here and find out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 2: We’re going to settle in to the new city and find out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 3: We’re still trying to figure out what ‘normal’ is like.
Year 4: Well, I guess this is normal.
On weather:
Year 1: I am going to melt in this heat!
Year 2: I am going to sweat and not sleep in this heat!
Year 3: I am going to freeze in this cold!
Year 4: I’ve got an extra sweater on.
On homeschool:
Year 1: “Hey, Jed, let’s sing a song and read a book together while I feed Lucy and Abe free-ranges.
Year 2: “Hey, Abe and Jed, let’s do this cool art project and a science experiment while Lucy is napping.”
Year 3: “Hey, Kids, it’s time for school!”
Year 4: They have desks and charts and stuff.
On grocery shopping:
Year 1: “Chris, can you pick me up some stuff?”
Year 2: I went with the kids to the store and market.
Year 3: “Chris, can you pick me up some stuff?”
Year 4: “Chris, can you watch the kids so I can get out of the house!?”
On laundry:
Year 1: There’s too much.
Year 2: There’s too much.
Year 3: There’s too much.
Year 4: There’s too much.
Okay, not everything can change . . .
I sure don’t have it all figured out yet, but it’s been a big adventure learning about stuff here. My heart goes out to the people who are just beginning this journey. I remember! And if I may quote every cross-cultural person who encouraged me during those first years, “It gets better!” And my honor goes out to all those who have done this a lot longer than I have. Way to hang in there and give all of us who are back in the beginning something to shoot for. Your experience and love goes a long way. And my love goes out to all my local friends who accepted me quirks and struggle and all. You are the reason I stay. May God have His way.
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