Move it or Lose it

Traveling and visiting with 3 small kids can be . . . I'm torn between the words rewarding and exhausting.  I think I'll go with exhausting for now.  I've heard people fuss over spending a week living out of a suitcase, or driving more than 2 hours with little ones, or dealing with sickness or discipline problems in someone else's home.  Honestly, I'm trying hard not to judge those people for being wusses.  I'd like to give you the e-perfect picture of a person who's past all that pettiness, but since I'm not, I won't.  I guess I can come alongside them and say, "yes, it is hard."  Because it is.

I traveled for 2 1/2 years of my life, staying in other people's homes, living out of suitcases, eating what was put in front of me, being 'on' all the time.  So, maybe that makes me a bit more prepared than most.  Or maybe that makes me burnt out on it.  I never thought it was such a big deal until I tried doing it with a husband and kiddos.  That's 4 more people who have to be okay with it, who have their own ideas of what would make it do-able, who like their food a certain way, who need a break once in a while.

Now, a shout-out to all our great hosts!!!!!  We've been visiting friends and family in the U.S. for almost 2 months now.  Each place we go, people have bent over backwards to accommodate our energetic family.  From moving out of their own bedrooms, bringing in extra bedding, going shopping for special treats, even flying in from across the country for a reunion (Chambers Clan, WHAT?).  I can't imagine doing this trip if it weren't for the super-special families we've stayed with who remind us in each new home why we've been friends with them in the first place.  That's the rewarding part!

So, what's it like hosting our crew?  As Chris likes to say, "We're low-maintenance, high-stress."  We don't ask for much.  We're comfortable on blankets on the floor.  Have you ever slept on an American floor?  They are cushy, soft, usually covered in carpet or rugs, and tend to be warm.  I would even venture to say we've walked on some floors that are as soft as our bed back home.  Maybe a stretch, but maybe not.  We have an eat-what's-in-front-of-you policy, so when people asked me what they should make for us, it was hard to think of things.

On the other hand, we're noisy!  Sometimes the kids melt down from the stress of switching everything so often.  They cry or throw a fit because they're sick of not knowing what's going on.  I don't blame them.  I have thrown my fair share of fits and I'm 36.  Also, they're active.  They like to jump, run, sword fight, yell, throw, etc.  It's hard to remember what's acceptable at which house, so we try to uphold some universal family rules and then adjust if things need tweaking.  Besides all this, they're early risers.  Sometimes before 5.  Like today.

I've found a few things that help as we move from place to place.  Not saying they'd work for everyone but they tend to work for my offspring.

• I like to read books aloud in the car -- no screens.  Our kids tend to get car sick if they're watching a screen for too long.  NO one wants to clean off a pukey kid on the side of the road.  Trust me.  I think I wrote about that a while back.
• Before putting kids to bed in a new home, we walk them from their bed to our bed several times so they know where to find us when they wake up super-early.  This usually helps them to not get so nervous while falling asleep.
• We keep high-fiber snacks in the car.  Eating with lots of different families and lots of different foods, they tend to go for familiar things -- rice, bread, bananas, cheese.  So, a few fruit/veggie squeezes in the car can help their tummies.
• Make time for outside play.  On long drives, we stop to run at a playground or just a grassy lot.  When we're staying somewhere, we try to go with our hosts to local parks or run in their yards or, like yesterday, play in the snow!
• Pick some things the kids like.  Our kids love libraries -- we don't have them in India, but Jed remembers from when we lived in the U.S.  So, we visit one when we can.  Also, they like McDonald's.  It's not going to kill them to have a burger and fries during a long drive -- as much as I'd like to be a stickler about fast food -- and it makes them feel special that we picked a place they like.  Maybe that's worth a few preservatives.
• Pick some travel buddies and stick with it.  Each kid gets to bring 2 toys to sleep with in each new bed.  That way, they always have something familiar.
• Glow Sticks!!!!  Each of them got some in their stocking this year.  On a drive at night or in a new bed, a glow stick can turn them from grumpy to happy pretty quickly.  Just a little reminder that they -- and these experiences -- are special.
• Keep Jed informed.  Abe and Lu still don't pay much attention to itineraries, but it really matters to Jed.  We try to let him know how long we'll be in a place and the next place we will go.  Then, we remind him the day before we leave anywhere.  As we get into the car, we will tell him how long the trip will be.  That way he knows what to expect.  It seems to help him gauge.  Our longest one-day drive was from Tennessee to Texas.  13 1/2 hours.  Whew!  Chris mentioned that we were entering Texas when we crossed the state line.  "How much further?" we heard from the back.  "5 more hours, Buddy," we replied.  Jed quickly answered, "well, that's not too bad."  It's all about perspective.

One more thing I want to hit on.  I've found myself worrying as we enter new homes if my kids will act right or if they will do the wrong thing.  I need to stop it.  Not because I shouldn't care how my children behave, but I care for the wrong reasons.   I'm realizing that I'm more worried about how this reflects on me, or what people will think of our family, than I am about if my kids are adjusting well to this life and if they feel loved and secure through the changes.  I worry about if my kids are living up to another family's idea of how 'good kids' behave, not how I want my kids to behave.  I worry that someone will disapprove of our discipline style as being too tough, too lenient, or just different.  These aren't things I should worry or care about.  I'd say it to a million parents, but I'm discovering I need to say it to myself.  God gave Chris and I these kids to parent.  Not someone else.  So, I answer to Him.  I don't expect another family's parenting style to be the same as mine.  I don't think my parenting style would be right for their kids.  So, why do I feel I need to justify why and how I parent as we travel.  I don't.  None of my amazing friends have asked me to . . . or wanted me to . . . or judged my parenting in any way.  Get over yourself, Emily!

I've got these incredible kids that are having incredible experiences.  Most kids don't get to meet as many and varied people and go to as many and varied places as my kids have in the short time they've been on this earth.  Yes, there are challenges associated with doing things this way, but there are blessings, too.  I hope our kids will learn tolerance of other ways of doing life.  I hope our kids will learn flexibility.  I hope our kids learn that almost everyone they meet is a friend.  I hope our kids learn that their parents and siblings will stick by when things around them change.  I hope our kids learn that Jesus is always there.  Jed's songs to God have had that theme in them a lot lately.  Maybe he's getting it.

Some snow fun!