So, in my home, I have four warriors. Some would argue five. Even if I have warlike tendencies, I think every other person in my home is way ahead of me on that scale. Even before we had kids, Chris had an assorted collection of weapons which he calls 'tools'. Quite a few knives, a tomahawk, a machete, slingshot, homemade blowgun, I'm sure the list goes on, my brain is just a bit fried right now. He's wanted a gun for a long time, but I told him he needed to go out and shoot and dress an animal before he bought a gun and all the paraphernalia that goes with it. He completed that task the last time we were home, but then we had to get back here, so still no gun. Very soon after Jed was born, he was already holding light sabers and going on 'quests' with his Dad around the house. Abe quickly followed suit. If you wanted the boys to clean their room, the surefire way was to let them know that the rebel alliance desperately needed their toys put away in order to defeat Darth Vader.
When Lucy was Caleb (see her birth story in December 2013 posts if you're curious) Chris blessed her to be 'strong and courageous', a blessing she is living up to pretty stoutly. She has picked up a sword and swung it around since she could control her arms. Other babies shake rattles, Lucy thwarts off attacks. She loves to put on a cape and follow her brothers around the house on their pirate expeditions or super-hero escapades. She was crawling at 6 months, walking at 9 1/2, and climbs everything -- even if she fell off it last time. So, I am just waiting until the day when she discovers women like Joan of Arc and Deborah, "Cool, Mom, I want to be just like them!"
So, what's it like to live in this warrior community? Well, our weapon and action figure collection well outweighs any other collection of toys in our home . . . especially if you include all the toys that are used almost entirely for 'battling' like legos, costumes, blocks, even our animals have turned into warriors since the kids started watching Narnia movies. Jed became convinced for a while that a rhino would be the quintessential mount for a knight to ride into battle. One of their favorite activities is setting up a battle with half of their toys on one side of the room and half on the other. Then, they take turns battling each other until the good guys defeat the bad guys. They know all about lances and breastplates and sheaths and quivers and one of the first Hindi words Jed learned was gulel, which means slingshot.
Abe is the most intense of the bunch. He sometimes forgets that life isn't one big ninja training session. One of my favorite quotes to date is, "I will . . . NOT . . . rip baby's head off!" Well, at least he got that negative in there. He enthusiastically jumps on any chance to jump -- on someone, off something, towards something, usually swinging a weapon in the air.
When the boys draw, it even comes out. I can probably count on one hand the pictures that were brought to me with that excited smile and, "Look what I drew!" that had any other subject matter besides battling. "Wow, Honey, tell me about your picture." "Well, there are the (knights, ninjas, jedis, pirates, you name it) and over there are the (robbers, storm troopers, thieves, enemies, general bad buys). Can you see that guys blood? And in this one's hand is a (sword, gun, light saber, bomb, knife, staff, spear, lance)." How I exclaimed when I heard Jed say one day, "This is the flower garden and this is my cousin, Naomi, and I walking together holding hands." Thanks for the gentling presence, Naomi!!!!
I sometimes wonder what others must think of our training ground of a home. Actually, that is the only way our kids are allowed to actually fight against each other: training sessions with Dad. These started when we lived in Minneapolis. Both boys had light sabers and wanted so badly to test their skills, so Chris would set up trainings sessions with his boys and then after that, take them on a quest through the huge house we lived in with some other people. They would scare Vader and his troopers out of every room in the house. Most people would laugh and enjoy watching them on their missions. Here in India, our kids are also known for their fighting spirit. Sometimes when friends came to play, we'd have to clear out the toy room of half the stuff just to settle things down a bit. Again, most people are very entertained.
There have only been a couple of instances when a person with a different parenting style or kids with a gentler spirit made comments veiled in curiosity or concern. It's pretty easy to pick up on. Have you ever noticed how one or two negative reviews spoil all the positive comments? I've had to wrestle and pray and cry over those comments. Am I horrible for letting my kids fight? Am I wrecking them for life by allowing them to pretend to kill bad guys instead of pray and forgive them? (We have taught that lesson, by the way)
I am forever indebted to a lady in Minneapolis. We were leaving to move here and some of our friends had gathered to pray for us. Our boys were on our laps and everyone was circled around us, laying hands on us, and praying for our journey and life here. Meanwhile, Jed had two action figures in his hands that were going at it something fierce. It went something like this: "Lord, protect this family." "Pow, Ugh" "Give them grace for learning." "Bam, Got you!" and so on. I was feeling self-conscious about this battle going on in my lap while people were praying such sacred things for us. Afterwards, a woman with a psychology background came up to me. "You are doing a great job with your kids. Letting Jed work through all his feelings like that is wonderful. Kids need to play and act out things. It's how they process. Good for you that you're not preventing this!"
Wow. Grace. Right there. What a blessing it was to hear those words. I've held on to them when I start to feel things are getting out of control. When my kids shift from wanting to be a knight, pirate, Jedi, ninja, cowboy, or some funky combination like Jedi-pirate-astronaut. When someone asks a question that's really thinly-veiled criticism. I remind myself: my kids are growing, my kids are learning, my kids have had more transitions in the last few years than most kids will in their whole growing up, my kids are gifted uniquely. Then God gives me grace for that person who just doesn't understand how much that comment hurt.
Thankfully, we've had many more people come alongside our family and love us for who we are. They see our kids' strengths and applaud them. They see our struggles and pray with us. They give us and our kids grace if our kid hits or bites their kid -- or teaches them how to use a gulel. Thanks to all of you who fall in that category!!! And I really don't think we're ruining them.
Just the other day, Jed told me, "Mama, I think I don't really want to be a warrior." "Really?" "Yeah, because warriors have to battle and people get hurt and bleed and die." "That's right, Buddy, they do." "I want to have a family and kids and be peaceful . . . but I can still do training with my kids, right?" "Yes, Buddy, of course you can!" So, everything is moving in the right direction. And he figured that out for himself. I didn't have to put a bunch of restrictions on him. He saw the truth. I keep praying for the other two :)
Last night, Jed told me I had to leave the room because he had something important to tell Abe. I, like a good Mom, left the room and stood around the corner to listen. "Abe, you can't be a ninja." "Get off, Brother, leave me alone!" "No, Abe, it's really important!" "But I want to be a ninja!" "Abe, do you want to have love in your life?" "Yeah" "Then you need to have a family, a wife and kids." "Oh, but I still want to be a ninja." It's okay, Little Buddy, you'll get there, too.
Proof that there are peaceful times!
When Lucy was Caleb (see her birth story in December 2013 posts if you're curious) Chris blessed her to be 'strong and courageous', a blessing she is living up to pretty stoutly. She has picked up a sword and swung it around since she could control her arms. Other babies shake rattles, Lucy thwarts off attacks. She loves to put on a cape and follow her brothers around the house on their pirate expeditions or super-hero escapades. She was crawling at 6 months, walking at 9 1/2, and climbs everything -- even if she fell off it last time. So, I am just waiting until the day when she discovers women like Joan of Arc and Deborah, "Cool, Mom, I want to be just like them!"
So, what's it like to live in this warrior community? Well, our weapon and action figure collection well outweighs any other collection of toys in our home . . . especially if you include all the toys that are used almost entirely for 'battling' like legos, costumes, blocks, even our animals have turned into warriors since the kids started watching Narnia movies. Jed became convinced for a while that a rhino would be the quintessential mount for a knight to ride into battle. One of their favorite activities is setting up a battle with half of their toys on one side of the room and half on the other. Then, they take turns battling each other until the good guys defeat the bad guys. They know all about lances and breastplates and sheaths and quivers and one of the first Hindi words Jed learned was gulel, which means slingshot.
Abe is the most intense of the bunch. He sometimes forgets that life isn't one big ninja training session. One of my favorite quotes to date is, "I will . . . NOT . . . rip baby's head off!" Well, at least he got that negative in there. He enthusiastically jumps on any chance to jump -- on someone, off something, towards something, usually swinging a weapon in the air.
When the boys draw, it even comes out. I can probably count on one hand the pictures that were brought to me with that excited smile and, "Look what I drew!" that had any other subject matter besides battling. "Wow, Honey, tell me about your picture." "Well, there are the (knights, ninjas, jedis, pirates, you name it) and over there are the (robbers, storm troopers, thieves, enemies, general bad buys). Can you see that guys blood? And in this one's hand is a (sword, gun, light saber, bomb, knife, staff, spear, lance)." How I exclaimed when I heard Jed say one day, "This is the flower garden and this is my cousin, Naomi, and I walking together holding hands." Thanks for the gentling presence, Naomi!!!!
I sometimes wonder what others must think of our training ground of a home. Actually, that is the only way our kids are allowed to actually fight against each other: training sessions with Dad. These started when we lived in Minneapolis. Both boys had light sabers and wanted so badly to test their skills, so Chris would set up trainings sessions with his boys and then after that, take them on a quest through the huge house we lived in with some other people. They would scare Vader and his troopers out of every room in the house. Most people would laugh and enjoy watching them on their missions. Here in India, our kids are also known for their fighting spirit. Sometimes when friends came to play, we'd have to clear out the toy room of half the stuff just to settle things down a bit. Again, most people are very entertained.
There have only been a couple of instances when a person with a different parenting style or kids with a gentler spirit made comments veiled in curiosity or concern. It's pretty easy to pick up on. Have you ever noticed how one or two negative reviews spoil all the positive comments? I've had to wrestle and pray and cry over those comments. Am I horrible for letting my kids fight? Am I wrecking them for life by allowing them to pretend to kill bad guys instead of pray and forgive them? (We have taught that lesson, by the way)
I am forever indebted to a lady in Minneapolis. We were leaving to move here and some of our friends had gathered to pray for us. Our boys were on our laps and everyone was circled around us, laying hands on us, and praying for our journey and life here. Meanwhile, Jed had two action figures in his hands that were going at it something fierce. It went something like this: "Lord, protect this family." "Pow, Ugh" "Give them grace for learning." "Bam, Got you!" and so on. I was feeling self-conscious about this battle going on in my lap while people were praying such sacred things for us. Afterwards, a woman with a psychology background came up to me. "You are doing a great job with your kids. Letting Jed work through all his feelings like that is wonderful. Kids need to play and act out things. It's how they process. Good for you that you're not preventing this!"
Wow. Grace. Right there. What a blessing it was to hear those words. I've held on to them when I start to feel things are getting out of control. When my kids shift from wanting to be a knight, pirate, Jedi, ninja, cowboy, or some funky combination like Jedi-pirate-astronaut. When someone asks a question that's really thinly-veiled criticism. I remind myself: my kids are growing, my kids are learning, my kids have had more transitions in the last few years than most kids will in their whole growing up, my kids are gifted uniquely. Then God gives me grace for that person who just doesn't understand how much that comment hurt.
Thankfully, we've had many more people come alongside our family and love us for who we are. They see our kids' strengths and applaud them. They see our struggles and pray with us. They give us and our kids grace if our kid hits or bites their kid -- or teaches them how to use a gulel. Thanks to all of you who fall in that category!!! And I really don't think we're ruining them.
Just the other day, Jed told me, "Mama, I think I don't really want to be a warrior." "Really?" "Yeah, because warriors have to battle and people get hurt and bleed and die." "That's right, Buddy, they do." "I want to have a family and kids and be peaceful . . . but I can still do training with my kids, right?" "Yes, Buddy, of course you can!" So, everything is moving in the right direction. And he figured that out for himself. I didn't have to put a bunch of restrictions on him. He saw the truth. I keep praying for the other two :)
Last night, Jed told me I had to leave the room because he had something important to tell Abe. I, like a good Mom, left the room and stood around the corner to listen. "Abe, you can't be a ninja." "Get off, Brother, leave me alone!" "No, Abe, it's really important!" "But I want to be a ninja!" "Abe, do you want to have love in your life?" "Yeah" "Then you need to have a family, a wife and kids." "Oh, but I still want to be a ninja." It's okay, Little Buddy, you'll get there, too.
Proof that there are peaceful times!
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